How to prepare for your Valentine’s Day date- For women

Last year we provided you with some art-themed Valentines to give to your Valentine. It worked! And this year, you have yourself a date. Congratulations! But it’s been a while since you actually did Valentine’s Day and you probably need a quick refresher.

So here are a few things you should anticipate for the big night and how to prepare for them.

Formation:

You need a strong start to the night. So look yourself in the mirror for a quick pep talk. You are a strong, independent, woman and that Kim Kardashian contouring is making those cheekbones look fierce.

Venus and Cupid by Peter Paul Rubens at the Thyssen-Bornemisza Museum

This works best if you have a friend present for affirmation.

Dust off those stripper heels you never thought you’d have any occasion to wear. You may want to do a few practice runs before actually heading out the door, especially if you think you’re a bit rusty.

Dirty Heels by Marilyn Minter at the Solomon R. Guggenheim Museum

Now go out there and slayyyy.

Flirtation:

Take some advice from Cher:

So don’t be afraid to order that cheeseburger, because that requires maximum mouth utilization.

Good Enough to Eat by Margaret Harrison at the Tate Britain

This is you:

And this is you:

After dinner, don’t be afraid to show off your dance moves.

Marcelle Lender Dancing the Bolero in “Chilperic” by Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec at the National Gallery of Art Washington DC

A little bit of ankle will surely entice him.

Fornication:

So you’re going to do the deed, and this is the first time in a long time you’ve actually had advanced notice to prepare for it.

We are not here to tell you what to do with your nether regions, rather to show you the options you have. At Sartle, our mantra is to go big or go home.

So either go bold one way:

Origin of the World by Gustave Courbet at the d’Orsay Museum

Or the other:

Étant donnés by Marcel Duchamp at the Philadelphia Museum of Art

You can even put on a show. Go all out. You can get your posse involved in this. Someone can spread rose petals on the bed, someone else can assist you in your wardrobe change(s), and another person can set the scene with a sufficient amount of airflow in your room. Because it’s about to get hot and sweaty!