Venus and Cupid
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ssohail's picture


If I had a nickel for every slightly ridiculous Venus and Cupid painting on this site...I’d buy this Rubens version for the weird nudity alone!

Here we have Venus, the goddess of love, so alarmed by her own breathtaking beauty that she completely forgets to put her boob away. Meanwhile, her creepy kid holds up a mirror to her and awkwardly tries not to stare at said boob. Definitely a nip slip for the ages…and to be enjoyed by all ages, too. Babies didn't care about Janet Jackson at the Super Bowl!

Rubens liked his people fleshy, which we normally associate with plump curves, like the ones sported by Venus. But he didn’t discriminate! As is apparent in the muscled bod of young Cupid. Who looks tired of holding up that mirror, in spite of his bulging guns and rippling glutes. It’s safe to say that the kid is juicing, and we’re not talking apple. So, the next time someone calls you Ruben-esque, summon a mental picture of Baby C and PUT DOWN THAT CANDY BAR.

[Sartle does not condone the use of steroids by children.] [Or adults.]

While we’re on the topic of children, let’s not forget the fact that Rubens married a 16-year-old when he was a spry lad of 53. His (literally) little lady became the muse for many a painting, including this one. It's also said that this painting is a copy of an original Titian, but alas, T’s was forever lost. This idea holds weight because Titian’s Venus also wore the pearl bracelet and the ring on her little finger. The real question for historians, though: did Titian’s Cupid have such a pert and juicy butt? And how many “accidental” breasts appear in this lost work of Titian’s? So far, Rubens is winning on all these fronts…and one back too.