Sandro Botticelli’s portrait of the sexiest woman in 13th century Europe.

Botticelli and his workshop painted this chick a lot, and for good reason. She’s widely regarded to be an idealized depiction of real-life lady and Italian celebrity, Simonetta Vespucci-- the most beautiful woman in Europe. Apart from the fact that her name sounds like a deadly bacterial infection, it’s pretty safe to say that Simonetta would have won the 13th century European version of "America’s Next Top Model". Her nickname was "la bella Simonetta", and numerous artists painted her, though none as well and as often as Botticelli.

Simonetta married at sixteen, which did nothing to stop every dude in Florence from lusting after her. Giuliano di Medici reportedly became her secret lover after winning her affection in a jousting tournament. The sly fox carried in a banner with a massive portrait of Simonetta (also by Botticelli) inscribed with the words “the unparalleled one.” Such a romantic gesture! I’ll be sure to use that one next time I’m going after a married woman.

Unfortunately, Simonetta died of tuberculosis at 22, after which her husband quickly remarried. Her funeral was attended by thousands of admirers and Botticelli himself requested that he be buried at her feet in the Church of Ognissanti in Florence. One of the greatest painters of all time, at her feet, like a pet terrier. That’s dedication. Luckily for him, this wish was carried out at his death 34 years later. 

In this particular painting, Simonetta’s intricate hairstyle steals the show. The elaborate styling, complicated decorations, and hundreds of pearls set into her braids would not have been an everyday look, even by highfalutin Florentine standards. Instead, Simonetta is likely styled after a nymph-- those beautiful young maidens who chill out in rivers and forests, dancing around and inspiring hair envy in all they meet. An appropriate reference for superstar Simonetta, the belle of Botticelli’s ball.