Happy Birthday Bey!!!

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We want to wish Beyoncé a b-day fit for a queen!!!

In her honor, we were able to gain access to the Carter Family Portrait Gallery, where we discovered…

Bey looking ***flawless in one of the Gallery’s favourite portraits from the archives.

Sartle is full of forgeries! In repentance to Queen B., we present to you the real, flawless versions of all your favorite art.

Above you’ll see Bey killing it in Johannes Vermeer‘s Girl with A Pearl Earring. This girl runs the world, unlike that other one he painted, who is BASIC.

Also, Beyoncé is hotter than Scarlett Johansson and anyone who says they think otherwise is lying.


Not even close.

It’s no secret that Beyoncé's crazy in love with her hubby Jay-Z, and their baby Blue. Here the paparazzi caught them at a Boating Party in the South of France with their friend Mary Cassatt (not pictured).

Jay takes his favourite gals out for a spin on one of the family estate’s many man-made lakes.

Their yacht’s just out of frame.

And here they are spending the afternoon having a Luncheon on the Grass, with Kim, Kanye and Édouard Manet (not pictured).

Bey, Jay, Kanye & Kim enjoy a relaxing day by one of the family estate’s many woodland ponds. Kanye tells a joke, Jay laughs politely.  Bey is unamused.  

Kim’s in the background, taking a selfie of course.

Remember years ago, before Jay put a ring on it? Well way back when single lady B had a thing with Gustav Klimt, who painted her as the golden goddess she so obviously is.

He called this one Adele Bloch-Bauer I, which is German for Sasha Fierce.

This portrait inspired her outfits for years to come:


It’s not at all surprising that Bey’s been the muse of many famous artists. Before he met Edie, even Andy Warhol was enamored with our favorite independent woman.


We’d all be stocking up on Campbell’s Soup Cans if this version was still in stores.

Thanks to the Carter Family Portrait Gallery for setting the record straight!

And remember children:


By Angelica Jardini

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Angelica Jardini

Sr. Editor

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