Neptune and Triton
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Neptune and Triton by Bernini is a Kodak moment between father and son that ordinary humans could never dream of.

This is probably because they are gods and rule the earth and ocean and the closest we get to a throne is a porcelain one. Anyway, Neptune in the sculpture is a regulation DILF. Like a true god, Neptune is ripped in places the we didn’t know one could be ripped and has just about the most magnificent beard that we’ve ever seen. It’s really very convenient when you control the wind and can make it blow your full head of luscious locks (beard included) out of your face just enough to show off your strong jawline and fierce scowl that says he’s about to f$%^ sh*t up in the ocean. Bernini was really good at showing off movement in his sculptures. Movement, and also abs. Though Neptune has a smokin’ hot bod and is definitely the focal point of this sculpture, Triton is not to be ignored. He, too, has great abs and beautiful hair. He is blowing his conch to alert the four corners of the world that his dad is about to make waves… literally. The two of them together make up quite the display of manliness and the power of the gods.

The original piece was commissioned for Cardinal Alessandro Peretti Montalto, the nephew of Pope Sixtus V, to decorate his pool at Villa alle Terme, which was inherited from the Pope. Though this piece might have been the teeniest bit dramatic for a poolside statue, you have to applaud the ambition of the Cardinal. He must have been very serious about his aquatics. The piece, which bears the arms (literal arms, not coat of arms) of Cardinal Montalto, is thought to have been made before 1623, the year of the Cardinal’s death. Bernini was just 25 years old at the time. In 1786, Thomas Jenkins, an English art dealer, bought Neptune and Triton along with a number of other statues. Jenkins sold it to the artist, Sir Joshua Reynolds for 700 guineas. Reynolds wrote his intentions with the statue: “I buy it upon speculation and hope to sell it for a thousand.” He did not sell it for a thousand. The executors of Reynolds’ estate sold it to Lord Yarborough when he died in 1792. It remained in the Yarborough family until 1950, when it caught the eye of the Victoria and Albert Museum and was purchased with the help of the National Art-Collections Fund.

Neptune and Triton is six feet of pure marble, and as such is very heavy… 1857 lbs to be exact. As such a heavy object, moving it is rather complicated, though this hasn’t stopped V&A from doing whatever TF they want. They have moved it throughout the museum several times over the years, each time a painstaking process involving padded hydraulic wedges, pallets, and a forklift. But in each new home of Neptune and Triton, it manages to inspire wonder in the hearts of all.




  1. "Neptune And Triton | Bernini, Gian Lorenzo | V&A Search The Collections." Web. 20 Feb. 2018.
  2. 'Neptune And Triton' By Gianlorenzo Bernini - Victoria And Albert Museum." Web. 20 Feb. 2018.
  3. "TRITON - Greek Sea-God Of Waves & Calm Seas, Herald Of Poseidon." Web. 20 Feb. 2018.

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Here is what Wikipedia says about Neptune and Triton

Neptune and Triton is an early sculpture by the Italian artist Gian Lorenzo Bernini. It is housed in the Victoria and Albert Museum of London and was executed c. 1622–1623. Carved from marble, it stands 182.2 cm (71.7 in) in height.


The marble sculpture group was originally commissioned by Cardinal Alessandro Damascenti-Peretti Montalto in 1620, and executed March 1622 to February 1623, serving as a fountain to decorate the pond in the garden of his Villa Peretti Montalto on the Viminal Hill in Rome. The group was placed in the pre-existing oval pool (called the Peschiera or Peschierone), designed by Domenico Fontana in 1579–81.

It was purchased by the Englishman Thomas Jenkins in 1786, from whom it was purchased later that year by the painter Joshua Reynolds. The work had been called "Neptune and Glaucus" following Filippo Baldinucci's biography of the artist, but appears as "Nettvno, e Tritone" in Domenico de' Rossi's engraving (1704), and also later corrected to "Neptune and Triton" following Reynolds' notes.

After Reynolds's death in 1792 it was sold to Charles Anderson-Pelham, 1st Baron Yarborough, who kept it in the garden of his home in Chelsea, London, Walpole House. His descendants moved it in 1906 to their country house, Brocklesby Park, Lincolnshire. It was bought from the family by the Victoria and Albert Museum in 1950, although it had appeared at an exhibition at the Royal Academy in London in 1938.

Check out the full Wikipedia article about Neptune and Triton.