Drunken Silenus
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If Silenus was applying for a job and paintings of him were vetted the way Facebook pictures are by modern employers, there is no way in hell he’d ever get hired.

Unless the job were for “life of the party” or “drunk Santa.” Dude has painting after painting created by numerous artists over numerous decades devoted to his hefty drunk ass.

This particular rendition of drunk Silenus by Van Dyck is similar to many others: Silenus is portrayed as half naked and so drunk that he must be carried out of the party by his patient friends. Why would you want to hang out with a guy known for getting so wasted that you have to haul him around? Because that drunk man is the tutor of Bacchus, the god of wine, and definitely has the free alcohol hook up.

Silenus is even, and some say especially when intoxicated, wise and prophetic AF. In fact, in one version of the King Midas myth, Midas drugs Silenus and then takes him to his palace so the old man can act as his own personal sage. In a cruel twist for Midas, Silenus’ words of wisdom were, “the best thing for a man is not to be born, and if already born, to die as soon as possible.” Probably not what Midas was hoping to hear. In another version of the story Silenus got drunkenly lost and was brought to Midas who kept his buzz going. Out of gratitude, Silenus grants Midas his famous golden touch.

Free booze, lots of wisdom, and the possibility of endless gold… I’d say if you were lucky enough to be part of his Bacchanals, it’s probably worth lugging him around.

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Here is what Wikipedia says about Drunken Silenus (van Dyck)

Drunken Silenus is a 1620 painting by Anthony van Dyck, now in the Gemäldegalerie Alte Meister in Dresden.

Check out the full Wikipedia article about Drunken Silenus (van Dyck).