Diana and Actaeon
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cschuster's picture

Sr. Contributor

Remember that time Ted Nugent was like, "Ladies," and the ladies were like, "Nah," and turned him into a deer?

For some reason Giuseppe Cesari remembers that. The story goes that Diana, et al. are washing off one day when Actaeon stumbled on the scene. Actaeon was a hero and famous hunter who was trained by the centaur Chiron, Achilles' own instructor. Huge bad boy pedigree. But when he sees Diana naked, she ain't having it. One of her main attributes is pristine virginity (which her squad were also required to adhere to), and she wasn't going to let Actaeon go blabbing across the countryside about their risky business. Diana splashed water in Actaeon's face and he turned into a stag. Actaeon (as a stag) ran off and all his dogs decided he was on the menu for dinner. Thus died Actaeon, all antlers and tasty shanks.

Diana's revenge against Actaeon was a subject the Knight of Arpino returned to over and again. It must have been a fan favorite, since they were all roughly the same. Cesari banked his career on what were called cabinet drawings: Skinemax worthy mythological scenes kept in a small room or cabinet that rich dudes showed off to friends. Religious works found their way into the cabinets, too, but it was mostly mythic nudes. Either way, Cesari was the best in the business. And this time around, he was hammering at the titillating aspect pretty hard. Diana isn't so much angry with Actaeon for interrupting bath time as they're all seemingly wondering when he's going to join.

mhoutzager's picture


Diana (having just thrown magical-man-into-stag-transforming water at Actaeon): "Oops, my bad..."

Actaeon (not realizing he is in the process of being transformed into lunch meat for his dogs): "Ain't nothing but some water, it'll dry up."


Diana's helpers: "Run Actaeon, run!"


Actaeon's dogs: "Lunchmeat!!!"