Elisabetta Sirani’s life was a pleasant mix of Baroque paintings and murder conspiracies.

Sirani’s father Giovanni may have been Guido Reni’s star pupil, but he didn’t want Elisabetta to be an artist. You know what they say-- follow your dreams and squash your daughter’s. Good thing pops came around; Sirani soon surpassed him and by the age of 19 supported the family of six on her income. Later in life, Giovanni would develop some fun habits, like overworking his daughter and accusing the family maid of murder. 

Before these mishaps, Sirani proved herself a prodigy, likened to Artemisia Gentileschi. She completed hundreds of artworks, including some snazzy Madonnas, at a rate that made critics suspicious. With far too many mouths to feed to entertain such poppycock, Sirani dispelled the rumors by inviting naysayers to her studio. Her speedy technique shut down the party poopers, and it’s likely she gained some 17th century groupies in the process.

Stardom and youth quickly gave way in 1665 when Sirani began to suffer severe stomach pain. The family doctor helpfully prohibited medicine, for the very logical reason that the sun was in Leo. Alas, his astrological prescription backfired and Sirani’s condition quickly spiraled. She passed away at twenty-seven, leaving behind an irate father who declared foul play. The alleged weapon? Poison-- served by the family maid, Lucia Tolomelli.

Poison was quite en vogue in the 1600s. In 1659, Giulia Tofana was executed for selling her own blend of clear, tasteless poison, “Aqua Tofana,” to wives seeking to kill their husbands. She worked in Rome with her daughter (don’t you just love family businesses?) to rack up a body count of six hundred. In 1676, the marquise de Brinvilliers would be tortured and executed for working with her lover to kill with Aqua Tofana. She allegedly used hospital patients as test trials and later offed her brothers and father. These twisted poison plots were so widespread during Sirani’s era that Giovanni’s theory seems less paranoid and more plausible. But did he have a case, or did Elisabetta succumb to stomach ulcers, a force less sinister?